The Strange Life of a Cross Dresser

I'm writing this entry from my phone while I get a pedicure. My wife and I are traveling next week so this weekend was for pampering: manicure and hair for Tonya; pedicure for me. The owners of our favorite salon are an awesome husband and wife team. The husband always does my pedicure and the wife does Tonya's nails. It's a challenge to understand them sometimes, but they are lovely people and have become very talkative of late. They alway's ask about her "friend" when I don't accompany her.

I've been thinking about this situation, and others like it, quite a bit recently. There are times that I think it would be awesome to be a cross dresser ambassador to the public. Anytime the situation has arisen it has had a positive outcome and been fun. I vastly prefer stealth, though. I don't want people to know I'm a guy in a dress. If it happens I am generally not too bothered and actually enjoy the inevitable flood of questions. Deep down, though, it's a bit deflating to the ego and is in opposition to how I see my dual gender. 

The problem is that if stealth is my preferred mode, then how do I handle it when people ask how Tonya and I know each other? Sometimes people assume we are sisters; other times they assume we are friends or in-laws. Generally we just go with their initial assumption. But after awhile we forget the relationship each group knows and confusion sets in. As I sit here receiving a heavenly massage, the owner is chatting up a storm. It feels odd to be deceiving him and I feel a loss in not being able to share the wonderful relationship Tonya and Charlie have. Instead I'm trying to remember how he thinks Tonya and Jocelyn know each other.

It's not just the nail salon, either; I spend a lot if time en femme just living life, running errands, etc. There are so many places that I frequent both as Charlie and Jocelyn that I'm shocked the two worlds don't collide more often. Right now I'm sitting in a hair salon while Tonya gets a haircut. I've been here many times as Charlie. How do they not recognize Jocelyn is Charlie? Tonya is talking about our upcoming trip. She's talking about me, but not the me sitting here with her right now. It's an odd feeling, but I suppose par for the crossdressing course.

Still Alive

It's hard to believe half a year has passed since I last posted. Why do so many people start and fail to keep up with blogs? I guess I could resort to the old, "I've been busy" excuse, and that's not entirely untrue. However, I think the real reason is I just haven't felt like I had a whole lot of worthwhile content to contribute to the trans* world. I've recently had a bit of downtime that allowed me to reconnect with some trans-focused blogs/forums and it's given me a bit of a different perspective, so I am once again inspired to write. I've also realized that perhaps the whole point of this blog isn't so much for others, but maybe it's a little more inwardly focused; something of a diary that I will find value in down the road.

So, what have I been up to the past 6 months? Well, my wife and I started our new positions and it has been a dream come true. We work for a Fortune 500 company and our job is to help transform the customer experience. We travel 3-weeks out of the month and provide an intense training experience for groups ranging from 15 to 180 people. Cliche though it may be, I can't believe I get to do this AND get paid. Our first trip took us from sunny, 70 degree Las Vegas to snowy, 9 degree East Providence, RI. We've also visited such exotic locations as Richmond, VA; Buffalo, NY; and Greensboro, NC.

Traveling around the country is very interesting for people lovers such as my wife and I. Attitudes, modes of dress, and general happiness are very distinct by region. Sometimes it can be a bit disorienting and though I spent most of my life living in the Northeast, two years of desert living have spoiled me when it comes to weather. I am NOT a fan of snow, but when that finally gave way to Spring and Summer we got a quick reminder of the nastiness of pollen and humidity. The positives definitely outweigh any minor discomforts, though. We've had the opportunity to spend time with friends and family back East and we've been granted the privilege of positively impacting hundreds of lives. Oh, and shopping; don't forget shopping. I know I didn't. In fact, I've done so much shopping that we had to buy a new suitcase to shuttle it all back. Twice. It's made packing for our trips interesting to say the least.

Initially I wasn't sure how crossdressing was going to fit into our trips. We stay in a hotel for 3-weeks at at a time which means we become well known by the staff. In addition other team members stay at the same locations. We solved the dilemma the same way we always do: We simply go about our business and hotel staff and team members can think what they want. Everything has worked out fine.

We've been back in Las Vegas for two weeks and our next trip is at the end of the month. It has been so nice being home for an extended period. Since January we have only been home 4-5 days before heading back out. I was actually starting to feel like a visitor in my own home. I even briefly forgot where the light switch was in our kitchen! Mostly I enjoy the familiarity. Over the 4th of July weekend I was able to spend 3-glorious days as Jocelyn just going about my daily routine of errands, grocery shopping, cooking, etc. Of course, I had the opportunity to do a little clothes shopping; this time with a twist: Jocelyn went shopping for Charlie. I don't know why, but that seems so funny to me. 

Well, that's it for now. Hopefully another 6 months won't pass before another post.

Live your life with love, honor, and authenticity.

Jocelyn