A brief essay on coming out

1. Stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free, and do not be entangled again with a yoke of bondage. (Galatians 5:1 NKJV)

   I spent half a lifetime hating myself, hiding in fear, losing friendships, girlfriends, and even a job once. I just got tired of it. I tired of hiding in my house waiting for the neighbors to go inside so I could go shopping. I got tired of people "loving" me on Monday, but despising me on Tuesday because I wore a dress Monday night. Really? Were my relationships really that shallow and fragile?

   
   

   A funny thing happened when I made the decision to love myself. I stopped hiding. I no longer lost relationships. I gained new ones; stronger ones. I had incredible experiences. I learned to love my life. Why did I wait so long?

Who's the Freak?

The following post is copied from a response I posted on a thread at crossdressers.com. The post detailed a sister's experience out in the world where she was called a freak.

1. Freak (noun): any abnormal phenomenon or product or unusual object; anomaly; aberration. 

   
   

   Well, according to the dictionary I would say: Yes, we are freaks. So what? By that definition a whole lot of folks are freaks, whether or not they wear clothing typically reserved for the opposite gender. 

   
   

   I think, however, you are not taking issue with the strict definition of the word, but rather the rude behavior. More specifically, why are people so unthinking in 2014. First of all, I see this kind of behavior as unacceptable, no matter what the year. I also find it curious why some people are fine with public boorish behavior. I often find myself wanting to have a serious conversation with them so I can better understand why they don't see their behavior in the same way most others do. 

   
   

   That issue aside, the general acceptance of Crossdressing is  a chicken or egg problem. We are seen as aberrations because WE ARE. aberrations. How many CDs does the average person see in their lifetimes? How many CDs are comfortable out of the closet?

   
   

   We can bemoan the unfairness of it all, but society doesn't move with the passage of time; change comes when what was once rare becomes common. The fact is that by being out and about and being called names you are doing more to "normalize" CDing than a thousand essays, laws, or peer pressure will ever do. Thank you!

   
   

   Please don't take this as a critique of our closet sisters. Coming out is fraught with risk and simply not for everyone. I'm just saying that the average person won't stop seeing as as "freaks" until, well, we are no longer freaks. The more husbands, fathers, sons, and brothers that are known to crossdress the less we will be seen as aberrations. When that happens society will adapt; not before.